Naps are equal parts lovely and destructive. Nothing comes close to the comfort of a good nap. Something about my bed seems different – it’s softer, warmer, and the natural light filtering through my room makes the atmosphere feel just right. Taking a nap is like downing eleven cups of espresso in one sitting without the twitching and bladder fullness that come as a result.
But naps eat away time like a starving animal. I always set my mental alarm for an hour later, but before I know it, I’m waking up to Glee instead of Dr. Oz. For those of you who aren’t as familiar with Fox’s afternoon schedule as I am (and you shouldn’t be), that’s a three hour difference. When I finally wake up, I tell myself I still have plenty of time to eat dinner, do my homework, and work on my websites. I never do. I finish everything that needs to be done, but there’s always more that could be done to save me time later on.
Today’s nap was particularly destructive. Here I am, for the first time since the start of BEDA, struggling to write a semi-interesting blog post in time. Oh boy, was it a nice nap though. I’ll be reveling in this one for at least a week, maybe two.
I think I’ll stay home on Friday for the hell of it. I haven’t been a truant all year, and now seems like a good time to revert to old ways.
I was leaning over the side of my desk in English class as usual, trying to see my teacher past the two guys sitting in front of me. Neither of them are particularly tall, but the room is poorly arranged and I’m unfortunately in the row perpendicular to the teacher’s desk. He starts talking about motors when a sharp pain stabs me in the lower abdomen. I turn over and clutch the small roll of fat near my naval. This is it. This is what I get for sitting directly on the toilet seat in the school restroom when I was in a hurry that one time. Some sort of creature was going to pop out of me, Alien style. I crunched my eyes shut and opened them back up in pain. There was no creature, no classroom, no teacher. Of course, the pain was still there. Mother nature just decided to give her monthly salute at 4:00 AM while I was slumbering away. Peacefully.
I don’t want to get into all the gnarly details, but I will say that this has happened to me nearly every month since the end of the fourth grade. I’m woken up in the wee hours of the morning with excruciating pain and have to sit around for an hour or so until it goes away. It sounds horrible, and it has been during this school year because I have to be up at 5:00 AM. Losing an hour of sleep when you’re only getting six to begin with is never fun.
Surprisingly, however, I used to love these nights. Sure, constantly squirming to find a comfortable position and occasionally sobbing about how everyone hates me isn’t exactly a blast, but being awake at that hour is a hoot. When else could I watch Adam West running around in his too-tight bat clothes or the precious Tommy Pickles getting into all sorts of imaginary adventures with his baby pals? Because I live in the past and cable networks live in the present, all my beloved classics are only shown when drunks and nocturnal creeps can watch them. It’s an outrage. And have you ever eaten a chocolate-covered pretzel in the middle of the night? I swear, there are night elves that go around and make food tastier in the early morning. DELISH.
Since it’s Saturday, I was actually able to enjoy this late night interruption for the first time in months. I drank orange juice and watched King of the Hill and read about the pros and cons of living in such a technologically dependent society. I had to fall asleep sitting up because no other position was comfortable, but the neck discomfort I experienced for the rest of the day was worth it.
‘Twas all delightful.
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